Has it really been over three months since i last wrote anything. Blimey!

I should imagine that anyone who was reading this blog has given up on me but I'll continue anyway.

I got an email from an old friend telling me that one of my most important influences and mentors, Peter Oliver, is seriously ill.

 

He and Joan Oliver were innovative theatre practitioners who transformed The Oval

House in South London, from a Church of England Youth club into a centre for radical theatre and music and kept a hell of a lot of the youth with them.

 

You didn't need any qualifications to participate or even run workshops.

 

Hundreds of people developed there, such as actors

Stephen Rea, Pierce Brosnan, directors Neil Jordan

and Mike Figgis, mime artist Nola Rae etc, etc. I haven't tried googling it in but hopefully there'll  be more information about it on line.

 

I acted there, I sang there, I started running workshops there. When me and my ex husband needed somewhere to put on a festival, it was the Oval House that provided the space.

 

I also was able to showcase 'Contradictions' there

We hosted a week long event at The Oval House.

In fact come to think of it, the programme from that time is on the 'Contradictions' page of my website.

 

Roz and Alphi Pritchard continued the wonderful work that Peter and Joan Oliver started.

 

I can't believe how much of my creative life was intimately tied up with that wonderful place.

 

I even found out about women's liberation there, when I surreptitiously 'borrowed' a copy of germaine greer's 'The Female Eunoch' that I found lying around in the Oval House canteen.

 

Dearest Peter Oliver with all my heart and soul I thank you.

I  got an email re The Gathering in London and it prompted me to  reply in depth and I'm cutting and pasting what I wrote cos it cuts to the heart of what I believe about  community and improvised music.

 

 I've included some other comments minus the adresses.

Dear All,
           Albert Ayler said" Music is the healing force of the universe" I wouldn't use the word 'therapeutic' It's misleading. As soon as you start worrying about musical criteria, the Gathering  as a springboard for social, creative, magic will die and it'll be yet another bunch of musos with competing ideas of what the 'true aesthetic' should be. It's up to the experienced improvisers to  embody the principle of total trust and then the muse will not let you down and the magic will take you by surprise when you least expect it.

The Gathering is not a do- gooding therapy session. it is healing and liberation for all of us who seek community of authentic, creative being on the deepest level and those who just want to have fun
and those who are shy and nervous and those  who want to make music or explore their instruments etc etc. In other words, anyone. I defy any regular to say that they haven't grown musically and in social awareness from The gathering

In other words, it's a mystery of revelation and sweet surprise and remember that clumsiness is an essential part of grace for all of us.

It takes great courage to trust the process but it's infectious and trust brings out the best in us all.

 In my experience,this applies to gigs workshops and life itself. When I trust it always works. Is that madness? Well if it is, it's divine madness.

Of course, as Evan Parker passed on to me, the Sufis have a saying " Trust In Allah but remember to tether your camel"  and for me, the tethering of the camel is a good venue, communication,
welcoming people,  some gentle honesty,(if keeping quiet  feels like a compromising of one's integrity) gentle, cos it's too easy to crush someone's creative flowering with the wrong kind of criticism and maybe looking inside oneself and how one reacts to something one doesn't like may be even more relevant etc etc. Each one of us makes a difference by how we play and conduct ourselves.

 

I've really had to practise what I preach here in Wales. it's taken a long time to build up to a group that appreciates free improvisation and doesn't always want to force it into a more  conventional jam session. There have been times when something has happened and I've felt that critic inside
wishing someone wouldn't do this or that and after abandoning trying to make them be 'freer' or sulking I've actively said to myself over and over"Trust" and wow, it's amazing, within minutes, I've stopped worrying about what someone else is doing or what someone else may or may not think about it and I'm posessed by the muse and can swim with the flow and the cross currents and inevitably, I feel the magic again

Sometimes  musicians will get disheartened. It's happened here too but they often come back and if they don't, that's ok too. There's nothing to stop people organising a more ostensibly music oriented session. I know that, for me it would end up feeling limited and even boring. I love the eccentricities, and foibles of humankind that The Gathering exposes me too. It brings out the best in me. It's the closest I get to 'egolessness' and healthy, creative ego.

In our different Rhythms together we are infinitely sustainable and creative.

    lots of love, maggie xxxxxx

 

>From: "Frank
>Date: Sun, 13 May 2007 12:16:47 +0100
>
>
>
>-----Original Message-----
>From: javier  >Sent: 13 May 2007 00:07
>To: frank
>
>
> >From: Frank
> >To: Frank
> >Subject: RE: Gathering - let's open this discussion> >
> >long time no see, but I am glad you are still in touch and very many
> >thanks for your thoughts below.
> >Perhaps some other more academic improvisers than me can recommend
> >books about improv, though I would say a book with an interesting point
> >of view
> >is: Nada Brahma - The World Is Sound (Music and The Landscape of
> >Consciousness) by Jaochim-Ernst Berendt.
> >
> >As to your worthy thoughts below, you may bear in mind that The
> >Gathering was originally started as a social event and not as a public
> >performing group (although there have been incidental performances at
> >odd times), so we are not attempting to be in the same league as the
> >illustrious names you mention.  I believe the intent has been to keep
> >it open to all.
> >
> >I shall forward your comments and let you know any response.
> >
> >All best wishes,
> >frank
> >
> >-----Original Message-----
> >
> >Sent: 12 May 2007 21:20
> >To: frank
> >Subject: RE: Gathering - let's open this discussion up
> >
> >Sorry dear Gatherers about my English but I am chilean. I think that is
> >very a complex issue to put the borders in between improvisation and
> >anarchy. I am not musician and I've been three o four times in the
> >gathering but I hadn't taken part on it,  I decided to keep quiet, why?
> >may because  I have the classical idea of the needs of to have some
> >trainning, talent or skills before  doing anything in the art
> >territories, if you don't have any of it problably everyone will notice
> >it and of course nobody are going to play with you or make any
> >recording of your unskillful efforts. Also I think the idea is to
> >contribute with something.
> >For long time I been a record collector and listener, my taste includes
> >ethnic, medieval, renassaince, barroque, contemporary, free jazz,
> >improvisation, electronic, prog rock, psichodelia, avantgarde rock,
> >etc; but despite of to have listened to hundreds of rare oddities in
> >the end I keep listening to those which have got some degree of
> >direction for example Art Ensamble of Chicago, Sun Ra, Coltrane, and of
> >course London Jazz Improvisers, Globe Unity, Spontaneous Music Ensamble
> >or AMM. But what does it make a good improviser or a good
> >improvisation? it is still a mistery to me. For me is a kind of
> >connection in between myself  (ears, mind, body &
> >soul) and everything which is surrounded me (I mean people, history,
> >nature and the unknown cosmic forces) through the music and the
> >physical vibrations.
> >Another thing which I notice living here in London is that the English
> >are like cats they can live alone listening to music, reading books,
> >watching films and attending to exhibitions but few share it and
> >discussed about it, maybe they  just exchange some information after
> >each event what's next and that sort of things. I am latinoamerican and
> >for us it is very important to include each other in this trip inviting
> >people to our home  exchanging opinions and tuning our emotions in a
> >certain way which make us to believe in  there are other human beings
> >feeling the same like me with the same kind of values, trying to work
> >together growing this way of living. The English make good music but
> >there  is a lack of reflection, communion and communism.
> >
> >   Maybe I am quite naive and also you  have got another financial and
> >historical situation (involving two world wars, colonization, slavery,
> >Irak, Afganisthan, Falklands, etc; ) which make  you to learn about to
> >get stuff and knowledge by and for yourself and  do not trust in
> >anybody  in order to survive or it's just  because your society is very
> >competitive then people just  want protect themselves of do not to be
> >exposed to anothers opinions.
> >What does it make a good improvisation?  may the answer is in the mind
> >of all these masters like Evan Parker, Barry Guy, Barre Philips, Paul
> >Rutheford, Fred Frith, Chris Cutler, Charles Hayward, John Edwards, Lol
> >Coxhill, Onette Coleman or Cecil Taylor but one day they should have to
> >sit down together, discussed it with the audience and to write a book
> >explaining that.
> >Could you recommended me a good book about this? sorry but I haven't
> >read Derek Bailey's or Eddie Prevost's books.
> >Javier
> >
> >
> >
> > >From: "Frank
> > >
> > >Subject: Gathering - let's open this discussion up
> > >Date: Sat, 12 May 2007 14:51:47 +0100
> > >
> > >Your points of view are interesting and welcome, as, although seldom
> > >spoken of, there is always some subliminal division between Gatherers about what
goes down and what doesn't.   Personally I do have a musical esthetic although try to bear patiently when things don't go the way I would necessarily like.   Yes, Maggie's idea was and still is that anything
goes except violence.  She used to say that The G. is not just about music.
Tho I try to keep my mouth shut and let things take their course I do understand Jeremy when he explained why he doesn't come to Gatherings
much anymore, because they are often not very 'musical' and are non-directional, and he always wants to tell people when to shut up and listen (like me). I told him he should speak out.  In true
anarchy everyone's view is valid.  I have on occasion spoken out about proceedings but feel that I'm being the Big Bad Wolf and out on a
limb. Steve said that he doesn't think Gatherings are about making good music, tho great when that happens, he doesn't think that is the point.
Moshi said that Gatherings are as much about tolerance as anything
else, and Maggie used to stress the therapeutic aspect of improv.
Jeremy was dead against that view, not believing in music therapy at all.
But just this week Chris at last spoke out (to me at least) about why he
often leaves early.   I have tried to get these things discussed openly
> >but
> > >it seems folk only talk about them one-on-one, not in the group.
> > >
> > >So for the time being I think it is enough that there is a space and time
> > >for open collective improv without being a directed workshop.   Eddie
> >runs
> > >that one.   And, as I said, I am am not wholly convinced of conduction
> > >either, and I do see Jeremy's point that the necessarily limited
> > >number of conduction gestures makes effects sound cliched and stilted.
> > >As for this week, yes it did drift around but there were some
> > >interesting moments (even tho you were blocking the view Chris and I
> > >had of each other
> > >-
> > >I respond as much to what I see people do as what I hear; light
> > >travels faster than sound), but there you go, I don't 'run' The
> > >Gathering and if you (or anyone pretty much) doesn't agree with my
> > >suggestion (for you to move back into the circle) who am I to argue?
> > >
> > >
 I felt that we could have used a stronger lead voice (sax or
> > >other).  So this week's Gathering may have lacked balls but there
> > >were some interesting
> > >sounds and your bass sounds good - and you played a strong lead.   Let me
> > >know if you want a copy.
> > >
> > >All best wishes, and do come again the next time you are in town.
> > >You know Gatherings are different every week depending on who turns up.
> > >
> > >frank
> > >
> 
> > >
> > >-----Original Message-----
> >> > >Sent: 12 May 20
> >
> > >
> >  I am
> > >not too sure about the music we played. Have you listened to it and
> > >how do you like it?
> > >
> > >I had mixed feelings. The acoustics are great and I found the thinner
> > >instrumentation interesting, but at the same time  there was often a
> > >lack of responsiveness, initiative and direction  as well as passages of very idiomatic material. I
> > >also realise that I do not share some of Maggie's / The gathering's
> > >concepts. I attempt to render two particular ones as (i) there is no
> > >boundary between life and music, and between what is happening in the
> > >frame of a performance and what's outside, and (ii) everything you do
> > >is OK. I think improvisation is, among others, about taking decisions
> > >(not necessarily rational ones, but they will have consequences and
> > >there is such a thing as being wrong) and exchanging of points of
> > >view, which implies subjectivity. I cannot really relate to getting
> > >carried away by the stream of some purported general conciousness as
> > >a strategy in improvisation. This seems to imply not taking
> > >responsability for the sounds one is producing. It can also lead to
> > >very clischee loaden playing.
> > >
> > >But having said that I acknowledge that people with very different
> > >concepts can play together with interesting results.
> > >Although the gatheruing is not really about results.
> > >
> > >It was fun being there and see you again
> > >
> > >Cheers
Armin-----Ursprüngliche Nachricht-----
 Von: "Frank 
Gesendet: 11.05.07 20:51:35 An: "'Arnin 
Betreff: Gathering
Hi Armin> Good to have you at the Gathering.   It was an unusually small group this
week - a sax, flute or clarinet would not have been amiss. 

Another important part of my life was refreshed and rejeuvenated yeterday.

 

I attended a meditation day at the Padmasambhava centre in Llandeilo yesterday.

 

It feels so important to be healthy in mind,emotions,  body and soul.

 

As part of the day, we worked with a process initiated by Swami Satyananda : S.W.A.N which stands for Strengths,Weaknesses, Ambitions and Needs. We were invited to meditate on an issue/resolve/problem, difficult decision etc  and explore it in relation to Swan.

 

I found it really useful to let insights come from a deeper place. We alternated

meditation with writing what arose spontaneously out of that  deeper consciousness.

 

At the end we looked at action to be taken and resolves we could make.

 

I had to accept that I'm not superhuman and bionic. I can't have late nights and early mornings and still cope with all the projects and political actions I am committed to undertaking. Something as simple as resolving to have earlier nights can make a huge difference to how I handle the overload but there were deeper

issues which came up and surprised me about what an important part of me the late night persona has been.

 

yet again it's the challenge of simplicity, the wisdom in the often underestimated "obvious"

 

I am so happy to be joyfully engaged in a daily yoga practice again.

 

I stopped teaching because I  wasn't practising and didn't feel I could urge class participants to do so if I wasn't practising what I preached.

 

I'm not sure if or when I'll teach yoga again but i might start putting stuff up on the yoga page on my website.

 

I have been talking to singer and healer Francine Luce about  possibly doing a joint summer school in 2008 which integrates, voice, movement, yoga

and healing.  

 

I often use yoga breathing practises in my voice workshops. In fact I introduced them to the students in the master class I did at the jazz School in Bern 

which I will write a bit about now.

 

EXTRACTS FROM MY WORKSHOP DIARY re two day

class in Bern 17th & 18th April 2007

 

" A really fruitful first day. They were all very open and their singing teacher Sandie Patten has obviously done great work with them. She was very welcoming, warm and friendly" 

 

She gave me her C.D which I listened to when I got home and it's gorgeous. She's a beautiful singer.

( I've just spent ten minutes looking for it so i could give people the title and Sandie's website.)

 

" I had first, third and final year students and my apprenticeship with the king of mixed ability,John Stevens stood me in good stead. 'Names with Clapping' developed into a fine, if slightly tentative pulse based improvisation. It was more familiar territory for those who hadn't experienced free improvisation.

 

They had all said valuable things about what improvisation meant to them when we went round a couple of times at the beginning.

 

John's 'Sustained Piece' was magical. We did it twice and the voices blended beautifully both times.

 

In his 'Click Piece' there could have been even shorter sounds from a couple of them but again it was lovely.

 

The two together led to a gorgeous group improvisation.

 

The morning ended with a stunning version of the piece I wrote based on the clapping rythms which evolved out of 'Names & Clapping' and

discussions from a women's workshop I did in Slovenia  'Wings Of Rhythm'

 

The singers in bern, as in slovenia, sang it beautifully

and all the different lines wove in and out of each other until we were improvising;taking it in unplanned turns to fly and ground it for one another. Ah, what joy."

 

In the afternoon we did a piece I learnt from both Nancy Diuguid and Libby Gallagher. 1-20 where the group collectively has to create space for individuals to walk and name one step at a time till you reach 20.

 

If more than one person walks or names a number at the same, you have to go back to the beginning. It's a great way to  have a laugh and yet build concentration and a kind of group telepathy, especially when you've had a lunch break and need to get back on track.

 

" We got there after a few nice tries" It's a great feeling when you get to 20. It invariably surprises people that they can do it.

 

" 'Short Impros' (one of my pieces) as always a revelation of sweet surprises, each small group blossoming more and more as we went round again.

Each group, as always,unique.

 

John's 'Ghosting' also brought  forth some wonderful soloists and the ghosting was superb.

 

We finished with an awesome 'Rhythm Of Your Own Life' We used Click as the entry into vocal percussion and then sang the song and then everyone took an inspired and convincing solo over the chords which Myria played on the piano. I was very moved. The group improv at the end was exhilerating.

 

Thankyou all my Muses I am blessed with your gifts."

 

I'm going to try and write about day 2 tomorrow.

A couple of recent events to report.

Maria from the Parliament Square peace campaign phoned to let me know of a series of 'pre-emptive peace strikes they are organising There was one on mayday (1/5/07) It was too short notice for people so I decided to do something on my own which I was pretty nervous about. I got some white cardboard and wrote:-

    INVEST IN CARING NOT KILLING

   

    PRE-EMPTIVE PEACE STRIKE

 

   www.peacestrike.org

 

I tied some string round it and wore it on my back.

my daughter wanted a lift into carmarthen and once we were there she decided to stay with me, which I was really grateful for.

 

We walked around town and various people commented and asked questions.

I had a few discussions with people and found the global women's strike slogan about caring not killing a really good basis for discussion with whoever engaged in conversation.

 

There is much talk at the moment about having to ration health care and start charging for certain "less essential "services. I read an article in which it was stated that even that wouldn't be enough and that some "unpalatable" choices would have to be made.

 

The global women's strike say that  annual military spending is ten times what is needed for food, shelter and clean water etc for everyone in the world. O.K now tell me that the'free market' is  progressive and 'modern' and that socialism is 'old fashioned'

 

The capitalist system, based on profit, not need, reminds me of a terminally dead patient kept artificially alive by machines. The main growth industries are arms, legal and illegal drugs and the sex industry.

 

The casino which is the stock market trades in debt and fictitious capital and gambles with our lives and the planet

 

 

"We can choose, within the limits of our epoch,

To gather our resources,summon up the forces of freedom and change

Make a nuisance of ourselves to make a new sense of ourselves" ( from "To Hecate" see 'Hecate's Haven' page)

 

 

 

 

 

Another long gap! I did go to the conference hosted by the Global Women's Strike  on the 10th March and it was really good.

 

As women told their stories  of surviving rape and other violence,I found myself moved to tears. At first I thought it was empathy and then I realised it was

opening my Pandora's box of experiences.

 

I was struck by how all the speakers had fought to get justice. When I was raped,  in the'sixties,I didn't dream of going to the police. It was just one of those things I told myself, a sort of occupational hazard of being a woman.

 

I've even recounted my stories of rape and misuse(abuse?) in an anectodal, almost humorous fashion.

 

Those experiences have left their mark in  my relationships though but because I've felt so lucky in other areas of my life, namely the music and special friendships, it's seemed like it's a small price to pay and maybe it would be greedy to want fulfilling sex as well!!

 

I was talking about this with the wonderful healer Judi Coull and I rediscovered an insight I've had before but on a deeper level.

 

 It's not just because of my past that I need sex to be sensitive with the freedom for

both people to stop and start and be comfortable at their own pace and not overtaken by one person's rhythm.

 

 It's because  an exciting improvisation where the tempo can change and contradictions flourish can be a more fulfilling experience for all concerned

 

I don't want one dimensional " wham bam thank you ma'm" sex with a man or a woman which doesn't mean that it can never get wild but that the pace isn't forced.

 

 It means that foreplay isn't just some irksome duty to be got out of the way as fast as possible in order to get on with the 'real' business but a process in it's own right in the same way that improvisation isn't just a tool for devising 'real', finished pieces deemed fitter to present but also a magical process in it's own right.

 

 

At the first session of the conference,there were quite a few stories of police negligence when women took their rapists to court and an inspiring story from a sex worker who'd had no justice and made a successful private prosecution.

 

She refused to be stereotyped as not capable of being a rape victim because of the work she did.

 

A mother spoke of her anguish for her daughter and their continuing fight to get justice.

 

One theme ran through every contribution; all the speakers had had emotional and practical support and help from The Crossroads Womens Centre which is where a variety of women's organisations are based, including 'Women Against Rape' and Black Women's Rape Action Project'

 

There were good contributions from the floor,including one from one of the men from 'Payday' who spoke about the macho, violent attitudes and practices that breed in the military and the necessity for  men to refuse to kill and rape.

 

.Black Women's Rape Action Project are campaigning to force the Home Office to recognise rape as torture.

 

At the moment women who have suffered repeated beatings and rape can be deported as rape is not considered sufficient grounds for asylum to be granted.

 

 

It's very clear that grassroots women play a huge part in the development of economic and social justice for all.

 

The law aginst domestic violence makes it very clear that rape and abuse of any citizen will not be tolerated.

 

Fifty women from Global Women's Strike have just come back from there and have brought out a new film about their experiences:-

 

    JOURNEY WITH THE REVOLUTION.

 You can order a copy or arrange a showing at :-

 

 

I felt that the different organisations based at Crossroads Women's Centre certainly 'walk their talk'

 

They are all under the umbrella of an organisation that I remember from the early days of the women's liberation movement ' Wages For Housework'

 

They have stood the test of time and seem to be going from strength to strength.

 

Back then, they were viewed with  suspicion  by some feminists.

 

I'd just come out of The Workers' Revolutionary Party' and Wages For Housework's relationship to the womens movement reminded me a bit of the party's relationship to the other socialist organisations.

 

Both are 100% active and ideologically uncompromising. Both have been perceived by some as a bit 'heavy' 

 

Both are genuinely committed to revolutionary transformation and the end of an exploitative and warmongering Capitalist system

 

Because they are so intensely engaged in that struggle, they can  come across as relentless and

intolerant at times

 

However, both organisations  are open and totally inclusive at other times.

 

I have a lot of time for them but am not sure how they would handle criticism. Would they see  persistent dissidents as agent provocateurs? 

 

THe two organisations are structured very differently and Global Womens Strike and the other related women's organisations are not

aligned to any party, however, I do recognise similarities.

 

There were two W.R.P members who had come to the conference with women campaigning for the right of return to their Island in Diego Garcia

 

The British government evicted them to make way for

an American air base and in spite of winning the right to return in several court cases, the U.K government has shamefully manipulated obscure loopholes in the law to deny the Chagos Islanders justice.

 

Both Global Womens Strike and The Workers Revolutionary Party are actively supporting them.

 

I recognised the banner that they'd brought; designed by someone in the W.R.P, unmistakeable.

 

It felt like two parts of my extended  political family

were under the same roof even if they might not recognise themselves as close allies.

 

Too much happened for me to give a full report but I'm sure there'll be one on the Global Women's Strike website:- www.globalwomenstrike.net

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I have just received the following information:-

"Huge Israeli force swamp Nablus, impose curfew and clash with Palestinians in largest military operation in 2 years 25 February 2007 Nablus Ma'an News Agency The Israeli occupation forces initiated a huge operation in Nablus, in the occupied Palestinian West Bank, considered the biggest operation in two years. Ma'an's correspondent reported that more than 60 Israeli military vehicles and several bulldozers entered the city and imposed curfew. Palestinian security sources told Ma'an that a large force participated in the incursion, focused on the old city, particularly Al Yasameen neighborhood, where dozens of Israeli soldiers were deployed in the streets. The city resembles something like a military camp, the sources said. In an unprecedented step the Israeli forces infiltrated the airwaves of the radio stations, seeking to provoke Palestinian resistance men. The soldiers distributed lists of 'wanted' Palestinians in the city and arrested six citizens, four of whom are relatives and two are brothers. The arrests took place in Rafidia, west of the city, and followed the besieging of one of the houses. Ma'an's correspondent reported that the Israelis announced the curfew through the local radio station of An Najah University and warned the citizens against breaking it. The Israeli forces commanded Palestinians to stay home and to keep away from banks and public departments and institutions. The announcement also said that the curfew will be imposed for no specific time period and that they will be allowed, only during specific times, to be supplied with food. The citizens expect that the curfew may last for a long time. The education directorate announced that teaching in the schools will be suspended for the coming period due to the curfew. The Israeli forces said that the operation aims to arrest many of the 'wanted' Palestinians, they said that they are searching for Mahdi Abu Ghazala, Ammar Akkoub, Sufian Qandeel, Amin Libbada, Abdulrahman Shinnawi and Mahdi Akkoub. Israeli forces continue their operation in Nablus, which began early Sunday morning. Armed clashes erupted between Israeli forces and resistance fighters and resulted in the injury of at least two Israeli soldiers. According to the most recent reports two Israeli soldiers were injured when Palestinian resistance men attacked an Israeli patrol vehicle with an explosive device in the old neighbourhood of Qasaba.' The Israeli army stated that a bomb was hurled at one of the patrols and that shooting at the Israeli soldiers occurred in the city, but they did not announce any casualties to the Israeli military or the resistance fighters." 25 February 2007 Nablus Ma'an News Agency

 

A bit of an interval since I last wrote.

 

I'm feeling good about my life at the moment; more balanced and less prone to  kneejerk melodramatic  over reactions.

 

Let's hope it really is like the music; the more I engage in creative practice and then trust the process, the stronger it becomes.

 

I'm doing a wonderful Yoga Course, designed by Poornam from Llandeilo Yoga centre.

 

It's intended to help us develop a creative approach to practising  postures and observation of different,

qualities in ourselves and our environment on a daily basis.  

 

I feel that I will now, when I have time, be able to put something on my Yoga page and possibly start teaching again.

 

Although I got good feedback from my students, I felt I was stagnating because I couldn't motivate myself to practise regularly.

 

When I was in London, I attended weekly classes with my mentor and teacher Ernest Coates and it inspired me to practice, kept me fresh.

 

Now I've fallen in love with yoga again and have a deeper understanding of how to structure a daily practice that includes continuity and change... perfect!!

 

Poornam is guided by two great yogis, Sivananda and Satyananda and  younger Swamis, Niranjananda and

Vimalratna, the latter who has written an excellent book 'Yoga With Attitude' described as 'A practical handbook for developing awareness in every day living.

 

One of my happiest insights has been that emotional neutrality is not the same as political neutrality. Instead of wasting my energy getting wound up and thrown off balance by world events I can maybe start finding creative ways to become more effective politically.

 

When I achieve emotional neutrallity my feelings flow and change more smoothly; maybe like changing gears from neutral in a car?

 

The healer I see every six weeks or so also spoke of neutrality and I've had such resistance to it in the past, mistaking it for' sitting on the fence' or indifference to the curse of crumbling, destructive, capitalism.

 

Being less fearful is hugely important to me. It makes me more capable of communicating effectively and honestly.

 

I remember the late Gerry Healy, secretary of The Workers Revolutionary Party, making us aware of the

danger of getting carried away by optimism or giving in to pessimism when selling our daily paper i.e. One day you sell all your papers but maybe no-one reads them, the next day you may sell only one but it gets passed round the factory and read by a lot of people.

 

Balance is dynamic not static. It's always changing and riding/dancing the contradiction is a buzz.

 

Time for my daily fix of 'Neighbours'  so I'm out of the closet now.

 

As an astrologer wrote re one of my configurations:

"What other people think of you is none of your business"

 

 

 

 

 

Listening to an old Les Diaboliques gig we did for the radio in Paris and it's really

good; beautifully recorded and I feel blessed to be part of such a trio of musical divas.

 

Irene Schweizer must be one of the finest pianists in the world and Joelle Leandre is a stunning bass player and performer. I can't help but sing well with them.

 

It's great to be able to listen to myself with pleasure and appreciation ; not wincing in embarrasment.

 

At last I can acknowledge my creative power. I used to be admiringly

envious of my mate Shirley Hall when people praised her paintings and she would say, without a hint of arrogance " Yeah, they're good, aint they"

 

I can listen  objectively, almost as if I'm listening to someone else, to the strengths and flaws in my work and not be thrown off balance. This is an excellent

recording, musically. We're all playing beautifully and with great empathy, drama and humour; shape shifting moods and dynamics effortlessly.

 

I remember talking a long time ago to Art Farmer the great African American jazz player when he was at Ronnie Scotts. We were talking about Kenny Wheeler

one of my favourite players of all time; an almost painfully modest musician.

 

Art Farmer knew of Kenny's worth and said,

without it sounding in any way like bragging. "The only difference between me and Kenny is that I know I'm good" 

 

 That had quite an impact on me and at last I'm understanding how it feels to know the measure of one's self

 

 

Many who are British born,raised or have lived a long time in Britain are in danger of running themselves down for fear of seeming conceited if they dare to

recognise their talents and skills.

 

while I'm at it, I must say how happy I am with the Dynamite Dream demo that Steve recorded. I love this band. I feel so lucky to have found such creative,

inventive and dowwnright groovy musicians.

 

When we did the fishguard Jazz festival, quite a few women in the audience said it was a really sexy band!

I've never had that sort of feedback before but listening to us ........!

 

 

Shirley and Pauline have been visiting and they showed me a hint of their ventriloquist double act they'll be doing at the 'Poets and Peasants' gig in Lampeter this Thursday(8th Feb). It's brilliant. I couldn't believe how good Pauline was. How

did she convey so much without moving her lips?!!

 

They're both great performers and poets and I've just found out that Pauline sings as well.

 

Her daughter Miranda Betts of the duo Meerkat, has a beautiful voice and a real talent for improvisation. It appears that Pauline and her would improvise vocally together for hours.

 

It's like how me and mum would talk 'gibberish' together when I was a child and people were convinced it was a language. In retrospect, I call it talking in tongues cos it was definitely inspired.

 

I was going to write about the second day of the European Dragon festival,

so here is my diary entry from when I got home:-

 

"The two days achieved a hell of a lot, in spite of/because of high spirits. It was challenging cos the kids wanted to play all the time but we did achieve dynamics and concentration.

 

Miranda came  the second day and was great with them and contributed good ideas, as did Heather.

 

I kept coming back to the basics of trusting the Universe and letting the Muse take charge. Any directing I did was in order to let go of directing and in the performance it all bore fruit. Everyone worked as a team, both sensitive and bold and some of the adults who'd been doubting a wee bit realised the method in it all. Emma said she'd been moved to tears.

 

Not only did we do the parts we'd rehearsed  but they were able to respond intuitively to other parts of Pam's (Pamela Gaunt) workshop performance.

 

There was a beautiful part after we'd done powerfully wild sounds for the killing of The Last Dragon in Wales when Pam led bher group in a ceremonious scattering of sequins over the dragon's body.

 

I was moved to start a low hum, joined by miranda and it spread like wildfire through the group and was quite magical as was Pam's unplanned ceremony.

 

The great thing about even the wild sounds was that they were self regulated, the group came down as one to silence without anyone conducting it. it was totally felt.

 

When Pam or Debbie spoke dramatically, Chris, Paul, Oisan, Jem etc would do spontaneous drum rolls and sounds.

 

It is so exciting that we achieved all this thanks to the glorious Universe and it's magical Muse. I feel totally blessed.

 

I worked really hard  but it was a labour of love"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Here's more of my Mills College experience. It's  a bit out of date now although still  of some relevance I hope.

 

 I gave three more workshops and am including extracts from the diary I wrote at the time:-

 

(Wed 29-11-06)  " It was gorgeous - a small group of dedicated people; two from the larger ensemble, Amanda Schoofs(singer) and trombonist Andy Strain who wanted to use his voice, and then Jason Hoopes who sang and played bass and

Takeshi Oda, another singer.

 

 We did the 'click'piece several times......

 

The last time we did it, it moved  organically into a really exposed, natural improvisation, scary and intense and utterly beautiful.

 

We then did 'Mouse In The Desert'  Interesting music, diverse and flowing with lots of twists and turns.

 

Andy raised the point about wanting to carry on when it could have been the end and us being drawn back in and we talked about choices and having the courage not to go back in if we didn't want to, letting the person or persons continue and

trusting that they will let it end etc etc.

 

Amanda wanted to do 'Ghosting' and it was great;

strong soloing and perceptive, alert ghosting.

 

It led into an improvisation after the second time round and "ended" a couple of times but it felt like we all had more to say and I'm glad I went with that cos it got stronger and stronger,deeper,more intimate and very honest; great music too!

 

When it finished,it really was the end and we could let it be.  We had all shared something intensely intimate and we sat in vibrant silence for some time.

 

Thankyou Goddess. Blessed be."

 

                                                      more tomorrow

 

Has it really been this long since I wrote? I've had a strange reluctance and then xmas happened and our phone line was down and I couldn't get on line and it was quite liberating to be cut off for almost two weeks. Lots of quality time with my mother and daughter. I spend a hell of a lot of time on the phone.

 

A lot of people I know like in depth chats and I do too, sometimes but when it's several in a day, it's too much. What do you do when it's someone you care about and you haven't spoken in ages?